Said a journalist, Mr. Clee Shay

“I’m never unsure what to say.
Why bother to strive
For a phrase that’s alive
When a dead one will do, any day?”

A cliché, like a stereotype, was a device used at a stage in print-making.  But you know what we now mean by cliché: it is a degenerated metaphor or simile or other phrase, endlessly repeated outside its original specific meaning.

My drawing of a “drongo with radio” in Los Angeles is a bit of a stereotype.

“Paradigm shift” was a change in the whole basis of a science, such as Newtonian or Einsteinian physics; now it is freely used for any change in outlook.  “Epicenter” is used to mean “center,” “a litmus test” to mean “a test,” “has a poor track record” for “has a poor record.”  And, one of the most annoying, “a sea change” to mean “a great change,” or just “a change.”

And “a quantum leap” to mean a large change or advance.  But “quantum jump” means, in the physics of subatomic particles, a stepwise change of the smallest possible size!

“Preplanned servicing has been the Hubble telescope project’s saving grace,” said a newspaper article, meaning that it saved it.  “Saving grace” once had a special religious meaning.

The strong word “amazing” has degenerated into a synonym for “good.”  “Thanks for the amazing work everyone put in.”  “I hope you have an amazing day.”  “Incredible,” too.  “I know what I’d be incredible at” says a performer, in a New York Times headline.  So she thinks she wouldn’t be believed?

And “iconic.”  And “legendary.”  This is actually heard in the telephone hold-patter for a bank: “To ensure that we provide you with our legendary service…”  Is that service a myth?  Boris Johnson boasted of “my fabled diplomatic skill.”

“Pomp” is always “pomp and circumstance.”  Any resemblance is an “uncanny resemblance.”  Percentages don’t just rise or fall, they soar, surge, spiral, explode, or they plummet, plunge, tumble, collapse.  Things aren’t just at a position, such as in space or in a spectrum: they sit, lie, or stand at it; or are located at it; or call it home.  They aren’t just few: they are few and far between.  The moon doesn’t just have craters, it hosts them, or boasts them.  Prey animals don’t just get eaten, they become lunch, for other “critters.”  Difficulties have disappeared: they became problems, and now they are all challenges.  You don’t find it difficult to do something: you struggle to do it.  Nor do you just try to do it, you attempt – clichés merge into merely more pompous choices of words.

Clichés become invisible to their users, which causes them sometimes to be applied with wondrous ineptness.  Tel Aviv is “Israel’s secular mecca,” according to a Christian Science Monitor article.  An email appeal says that 400 children have been killed in Aleppo and “Enough is enough.”

Here is Clee’s latest clichéberg.  He has almost achieved his ambition of scribbling a sequence of words that, by consisting entirely of clichés, shall be as long and loud as possible while communicating as little as possible, or absolutely nothing.  He is a news junkie, so every day brings him fresh inspiration.  And besides being a journalist, he has a side line in speech-writing for politicians, who also need clichés on the hoof.

“Frankly, I’ll be honest with you from the get-go, I personally and actually and really believe, quite candidly and in all honesty, that that’s in terms of the real world. Make no mistake, I am clear on that, at the end of the day, it’s front and center in my DNA and is my bottom line. I have drawn my red line in the sand, but it has been watered down by U-turns. This is proof – proof positive – and I am no exception. Every day – I mean, on a daily basis – the Amer’can people crunch the numbers and I struggle to take it on board; it blows my mind – blows it right out of the water – and I am literally stunned. We must bite the bullet to get more bang for our buck, pull out all the stops, grasp the nettle, and cut to the chase. It has caused – I should say fueled – sparked – ignited – at any rate kickstarted controversy – no, outrage -no, fury, and yet the silence is deafening. Am I the only one to notice that it was a bridge too far, not carved in stone, in any way, shape, or form? Marching in lockstep, we ran the gauntlet and threw our hat into the ring, but came to a halt – a grinding halt – I mean a juddering halt, and a new kid on the block who has swept to power in (of course) a landslide, his campaign turbocharged by the zeitgeist of angst, is vibrantly taking up the slack, and probably will – that is, has vowed to – change the situation – I mean, the dynamic, though this is up for grabs – it’s a nail-biting cliff-hanger. As such, this begs the question, beggars belief, is deeply concerning – inappropriate – unacceptable – toxic – and needs to be addressed. It’s a dramatic shift – a seismic shift – well, a nuanced shift – at least, a shift, and poses the existential challenge of a negative impact on our quality of life. It ticks all the boxes as a page-turner, a poster boy for a whole new ball game to die for, and as push comes to shove it has pushed the envelope under the radar to the cutting edge. To level the playing field we’re reaching out ahead of the curve, though clutching at straws in uncharted waters, to up the ante and put our head above the parapet and see below the deceptively simple surface. Though no spring chicken, I am excited – no, thrilled – no, passionate – to announce that you are awesome, and you’ve done an amazing job – no a fantastic job – anyway a good enough job. A cocktail or tensions have been spiralling, hackles were raised and  in many cases – multiple cases – the vast majority of cases – anyway, several cases, have, at this moment in time, changed the narrative around that holy grail. Now fast-forward to this day and age and eat your hearts out till you drop, you premier league A-list movers and shakers, you the great and good, you powers that be, you are spearheaded by the cusp of the smoking gun of the issues around conspiracies, you battle for hearts and minds but will be swept under the rug into the dustbin of history.”

Every cliché was once useful, and can occasionally be useful again.  Sometimes “Please cut to the chase” or “We’ve got to bite the bullet” is the quickest way of saying what we need to say.  But – enough is enough!

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